I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
