Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We had to coat check the pizza.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
