awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm always down for nudity.
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