I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Found your dick twin last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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