That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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