When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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