Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
