i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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