He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
