Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
