Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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