i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize