I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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