So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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