Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
