I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
