ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
