is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize