Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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