90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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