Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
