this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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