So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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