I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
