i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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