Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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