I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
