I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So much rum. So many feels.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
