Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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