Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
