guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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