dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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