I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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