Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
