just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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