their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
