I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i've created a new STD.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
