2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
