Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
