i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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