I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
