I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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