what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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