He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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