WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
