discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
