Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
