there was a trapeze. enough said
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
