Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
