dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
