Where are you?
In a non slutty way
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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