im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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