Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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