Dude my mom stole all your condoms
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
