and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
