My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
