If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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