absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
