Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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