all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
