I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
