So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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