My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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