So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
