Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
